Dear heart, why him?

I saw a meme with this tag on it and it really got me wondering. Why, us, as women always opt for the same guys who hurt us over and over again? Why do we agree to being of such low standards; accepting the pain, torture and torment? Just, why do we allow men to tramp over us and refuse to wake up to our worth? I am not pointing fingers at anyone, because I do remember when I was a prisoner of the pain and blamed myself for everything that went wrong. Then I realized, God knows what the desires of my heart are, but so does satan…

I know you wish you’d ignore him as he does you, or at least hate him. But love, love doesn’t give us the luxury to choose. When people start calling you ‘paranoid’ and you start believing so. When he hits you and you cry out for love. When he likes another and you buy a different make up kit and hit the gym. You think about him all day, yet he doesn’t even spare a second for you. Sometimes the pain makes us believe it was meant for us. That we should be broken to be made whole. And yet, you can’t unlove them. Our hearts will never forget the pain or at least the embarrassment of it. Yes, it all started as a crush and in the end it did crush you. For anyone going through this pain, the writing’s on the wall. Have some dignity to carry on.

So why exactly do we keep running to the same guys who hurt us? I have tried to understand the concept of hurt in relation to love. Caroline Mutoko once said, while giving a speech on dual income, that we are not our mothers. Yes, they might have accepted domestic violence amongst other strenuous things but we are a different generation! We are the queen nation! And, queens cannot lead under oppression. I am actually begging for anyone out there undergoing any form of torture; physical, spiritual or emotional, from their so called mates to call it quits and start understanding their worth.

I love women, because I fully fathom the pains and joys of being one. Whatever the society has conformed us to be is not really who we have to be. It pains my heart, so much to see young girls accept to be hurt. They say if you cannot run, walk, crawl or whatever it is but just keep on moving. I did let myself get abused emotionally and psychologically for some months and I prayed and hoped for a better day but darlings if a man isn’t in diapers, you cannot change him. Wake up my queens! There are so many men out there ready to love you for just who you are. Men who appreciate your worth and crown you for your very essence. They might not kiss your feet, but will definitely kiss your soul.

This is straight from my heart; do not let a man annoy you to the very mantle of your being hating him. Have some respect for yourself and at least for those who are watching us. We are not just females, we are a force to reckon. And we deserve RESPECT! So Dear heart, love me not him. 

Dear man, you will marry me.

I am sick of scary tales, wounded manes and hurting pains. I have had enough of dating with no wedding bells. I am done waiting to be next in line and fighting for bouquets when you can hand me the ring. I am sick of waiting every night and hoping every morning. Sweetheart, you will marry me. After six months of chasing me, five years of bedding me and about two of cheating on me; I stayed waiting, praying for that damned piece of a diamond. I am done being the mother of your dead children, I want to fill my own backyard with bursting baby giggles. I am done waiting for you to wake up and take me home when I can walk right over to your mother and be like,'Hey mom I'm the one'. 

 

I am done being the only one at the party being introduced as 'friend’. I am tired of being just another mediocre story not having made the MRS. Cut while playing the relationship card. I am dying for my fairy tale, of princess dresses and toasting champagne. You will marry me for I cannot do this anymore. Honestly at this point in my life, I do not mind wether it will be a diamond, copper or plain steel ring, just pop the damn question! Who wants to be old and grey all alone? Lurking in the realms of sad excuses of men who are not strong enough to claim commitment.

 

 On behalf of approximately the better percentage of women out there playing wife for men who do not even know their second name; wake up and smell the coffee. Dear men, we did not come into this world to play hearts and darts with you. From the word go, if you are not interested in seeing us as the mother of your children and future Mrs, please keep off.  If you're only here for the better prime, make it clear. I am personally, tired of hearing heartbreaking tales of men who did not have the balls to put a ring on it. I mean, with all the freebies in the world why me?

Just so we're clear, 32 probably is not the right time to start thinking and wandering in what options I had ten years ago. Now that we're here you already know the answer is YES! Dear man, get over your commitment fears and meet me at the altar. Don't worry I already made up my mind on the music, dress and flowers! Of course, I love you too. 

 

The Art of Giving (The Ficha Uchi way...).

Giving...

It's yet another beautiful month and there's nothing more I'd like to appreciate this coming month like the Ficha Uchi Campaign. There's just something about, someone, or people in general who understand and relate to the less fortunate and I believe if this is not the Kenyan style of saying we care, I don''t know which is.

To whom much is given, much more is expected. Growing up, I had to rely on hand-me-downs and well-wishers for at least clothing and food.  The fact that someone out there, one Billian Okoth, decided to take this up as a personal calling and clothe Kenyan children is something to reckon. Restoring dignity is a strong mantra to go by and delightful ladies and gentlemen, Ficha Uchi hasn’t disappointed.

After reading Bill Clinton’s book; Giving and being a beneficiary of such I am believer of giving; for it's an art crafted for the most loving of hearts. While the Kenyan child struggles with an overwhelmingly complicated system and their parents burdened by inflation it is particularly thoughtful for someone to step in and give a helping hand. Partnering with several government and celebrity figures, Ficha Uchi is now one of the most relevant campaigns in Kenya; leading the path in service as well as deeds.

On 23^rd July, at Ndururuno primary school, Nairobi, I personally got to a second straight-up indulgence in their humbling activity. It was a great experience that Ficha Uchi is not just a sensation but a reality check, a family and a loving home for all of those kids who have had their dignity restored. One girl walked up to me in a totally tattered patched up uniform and mumbled her gratefulness. That moved me to tears because, I can relate to the pain and shame of having half your butt out in class and being jeered at for not affording much.

May God bless this people and I urge you all to help these kids get their dreams right. If we can all give them the confidence to head to school and learn I’m sure they won’t disappoint. You can be part of this revolution, you can be the reason why a child out there has a reason to smile again. You can restore dignity by either joining the volunteer train, donating to the course, or even become  sponsor! The Paybill number is 932235; the account number 1234. Remember, no one ever gets poor by giving as it always opens up the doors to receiving, for the heart that gives, gathers. 

Follow Ficha Uchi on the social media pages: @fichauchi and check out the amazing work done on the website; http://fichauchi.org/ 

The world needs angels, to clothe us in confidence and love. This is for the Kenyan child, by Kenyan people. Let’s all join hands, let's clothe these children, give them the confidence and restore their dignity. Hats off Ficha Uchi.