Dear heart, why him?

I saw a meme with this tag on it and it really got me wondering. Why, us, as women always opt for the same guys who hurt us over and over again? Why do we agree to being of such low standards; accepting the pain, torture and torment? Just, why do we allow men to tramp over us and refuse to wake up to our worth? I am not pointing fingers at anyone, because I do remember when I was a prisoner of the pain and blamed myself for everything that went wrong. Then I realized, God knows what the desires of my heart are, but so does satan…

I know you wish you’d ignore him as he does you, or at least hate him. But love, love doesn’t give us the luxury to choose. When people start calling you ‘paranoid’ and you start believing so. When he hits you and you cry out for love. When he likes another and you buy a different make up kit and hit the gym. You think about him all day, yet he doesn’t even spare a second for you. Sometimes the pain makes us believe it was meant for us. That we should be broken to be made whole. And yet, you can’t unlove them. Our hearts will never forget the pain or at least the embarrassment of it. Yes, it all started as a crush and in the end it did crush you. For anyone going through this pain, the writing’s on the wall. Have some dignity to carry on.

So why exactly do we keep running to the same guys who hurt us? I have tried to understand the concept of hurt in relation to love. Caroline Mutoko once said, while giving a speech on dual income, that we are not our mothers. Yes, they might have accepted domestic violence amongst other strenuous things but we are a different generation! We are the queen nation! And, queens cannot lead under oppression. I am actually begging for anyone out there undergoing any form of torture; physical, spiritual or emotional, from their so called mates to call it quits and start understanding their worth.

I love women, because I fully fathom the pains and joys of being one. Whatever the society has conformed us to be is not really who we have to be. It pains my heart, so much to see young girls accept to be hurt. They say if you cannot run, walk, crawl or whatever it is but just keep on moving. I did let myself get abused emotionally and psychologically for some months and I prayed and hoped for a better day but darlings if a man isn’t in diapers, you cannot change him. Wake up my queens! There are so many men out there ready to love you for just who you are. Men who appreciate your worth and crown you for your very essence. They might not kiss your feet, but will definitely kiss your soul.

This is straight from my heart; do not let a man annoy you to the very mantle of your being hating him. Have some respect for yourself and at least for those who are watching us. We are not just females, we are a force to reckon. And we deserve RESPECT! So Dear heart, love me not him.